First Team Bowlers ensure the Batters can't balls it up!

OultonFirsts V Bagnall Norton (H)

Nathan Wood looked extremely happy with his day's work, shortly before he beat a badger to death for "looking at his beard funny"

The firsts continued their impressive start to the season by making short work of promotion favourites Bagnall Norton.

The O’s were at back HQ again this week as their visitors came in fine fettle themselves losing just one of their opening five games.

The day started well for Dan Colclough’s men as he managed to put his impressive tossing skills to good use and electing to field first.

Colclough then continued off the back off his 8 wicket haul in the abandoned game against Oakamoor last time out.

The skipper looked a young illiterate half-brother of Glenn McGrath as he took figures of 7-16 from his 18 overs.

Ian “Shergar” Whalley managed to shake off a particularly vicious looking case of equine protozoal myeloencephalitis which was had been doing the rounds in the Oulton stables to take 3-15 from his six overs. Bagnall were eventually toppled for 48.

The spitting cobra was unlucky again as he had to settle for another none-fer.

If we could get close enough to him to get an interview without having to hold an umbrella I am sure he would congratulate his captain McGlough and Shergar on their performances and would reiterate that for him it’s not about taking wickets.

In response the Oulton batters offered another compelling impression of a team who’d never seen a cricket ball before as they slumped to 46-4.

However in truth the damage was done and a fine unbeaten partnership of 3 between vice captain ShuntyTown69 and Nathan “the tramp” Wood was enough to see the lads over the line.

After the throngs of adoring fans had cleared the playing field we managed to catch up with Wood following his scintillating 1 not out.

“Yeah it was a good result for the lads in the end. You know, we know we possibly haven’t caught them on their best day.

But we’ve come out with the win and I’ve managed to find a new pair of pads behind the boiler and I was also able to use my borrowed bat to beat some magpies off a squrriel carcas in a nearby field. So everyone’s a winner. Dinner and a show eh!”

What appeared to be the legs of Nathan Wood were later seen collecting half smoked fag buts out of a local Morrisons bin. What a day for the lad!

We’re happy for him.