First Team Use Devastating Wood To Put On Impressive Show

Zico looked extremely happy with his bowling performance, but his celebrations are getting out of hand!

 

The First XI have had to wait a while to be able to open their account at home, after being called off against Wedgwood two weeks ago.

However the wait did not hinder their performance as they started back at HQ in fine fettle with a 10 wicket 20 point success against Hem Heath.

The day didn’t start well for the home side as swingball professional Andy Wood got lost on his way back home from Colombia, in doing so missed the warm up.

Hem Heath won the toss and elected to bat first and Oulton’s Wood-less warm up followed them into the game as Ben Pugh registered a hard fought 44 at the top of the visitors order.

However the Hem Heath charge didn’t last long as Ian Whalley (Zico) cantered in at 1^st change to take a healthy 6-37 from 12 overs. The colt bowled a wonderful nag-ing line and was treated to a lovely sugar cube and a bucket of grain at tea... he looks like a horse.

Captain Dan (Face Aids) Colclough and the Spitting Cobra added two wickets each to bowl out the travellers for 110.

In response a well-rested Woody and Virender Sehwag (Jon Whalley) went about putting their stamp on the game.

Woody’s style of batting (like a man who’s disturbed a wasp’s nest) worked a treat to take the game away from the Hem Heath team. The belligerent opener swung hard on his way to an impressive 75 not out from 48 balls.

Wol felt really good at the other end as he added another 33 not out to the score to take the lads home.  

We tried to grab a quick word with some of the main characters from the firsts impressive performance but unfortunately for the most part they are bat shit crazy.

So we settled for a few quiet words from the vice-captain ShuntyTown69 known to his friends as Shawn Hunt.

He had this to say about the disciplined bowling performance: “WAAAAHHHH EWIFBWIFBWSIDJCU DIWQHEDFOISFBWS  zico WJFBWSFWISEFJWEDF  bowled them ooot! MCFJW!!!!!!^*$&$&^^y*”

He later added his take on the dominant batting display from the top order: “WQS=DJKH ASIKDBWFKWSJ Woody DNCVISKBFG smashed EOEBOW SPWJKFBKRHNLFJK Wol CMNOJHO shite! JJM!!&$&^^%t&%! pissed tonate!!”

And he then had this to say on the teams chances for the rest of the campaign: “JALDWLJWEJKLW CNRIKWSB LFJTLYHJRTOGN GOORTYUIN OFJ!! Yeah sound!”

I think we can all agree he is sending a pretty forceful message to rest of the league’s promotion hopefuls. Powerful stuff.  

Eadey's Seconds Stroke It Away From Home

Eadey was busy getting some serious pre-game prep done!

 

The OCC second XI have made an impressive start to life in division seven of the NSSCCL and they managed to keep their 100% record in tact again this week as they travelled to Oakamoor.

Jake Eade’s high flyers won the toss and elected to field first. It was to be Eade’s third master stroke of the day.

The first of which happened in the bathroom of his flat as he stumbled upon the darker side of the internet.

The second of Eade’s impressive strokes happened when he decided to bring in Josh Carter from the cold (the cold in this instance being Wetherspoons cellar). And the third came shortly after he finished of his morning stroke in the club toilets, as he elected to give Carter the ball.

The big man strode in to take impressive figures of 4-34 from his 17 overs. A feat made all the more impressive when you consider that he learnt to bowl watching Rob Spruce!

Carter’s spell, aided and abetted by two wickets apiece for Todd Elder and Captain Eade, crippled the Oakamoor charge and the hosts were bowled out for 134 in the 48^th over.

The seconds made untidy work at best of their response with all but two of the useless cloth heads making it into double figures.

However (conveniently for this story) 69 fine runs from Mark 'master' Bates (a number he’s never seen before, in or out of the game) and 40 from stalwart opener Stuart Leigh took the lads home midway through the 40^th over.

Now ducks aren’t something we like to celebrate or encourage at this club, they’re unfortunate, sometimes funny but always degrading. So better luck next week Tom Parker, Richard Clegg and Rory Jones #QuackQuack.